I couldn’t help myself,” joked Joe trying to compose himself.“Whaaat – what did you do Joe?”Joe scrunched up his face, “We were sitting next to each other and I told her if she thought this stunk then you will surely not like this. So, I kind of farted on her.”“You what!” I yelped in astonishment trying to hold in my laughter. “Oh my god, Joe you’re nuts!”“All I did was raise up slightly off the bed, lean to the side and pass gas on her,” he confessed like he did nothing wrong. “She deserved it for being so obnoxious.”As Joe put it, Kimmie went bat shit crazy on him and began punching him in the arm, leg, stomach or anywhere she could, telling him that he was disgusting. She told him that she was going to pay him back by farting in his face.Joe, not one to back down, dared her to do it because he didn’t believe she would.“Boy, was I wrong Chad,” Joe admitted. The way he phrased it, is what caught my attention. His eyes stared in my direction, but he wasn’t looking at me. . Hell, if you weren’t so dead set against it you would be a DI4 by now.”4 DI – Drill InstructorI laughed and said, “No way! I’m not ever going to wear one of those stupid campaign hats.”Colonel Maggie laughed, “I think you would look great in a campaign hat, besides you are getting a little old to be out in the field.”Colonel Maggie worried me with her last comment. Hell, what if she was serious?She began to laugh and I felt better until she said, “Damn Jack, I’ve got the perfect Corporal to be your aide.”I didn’t like the sound of her laughter at all so I asked, “So, who is it?”Colonel Maggie continued, “Well, he’s a bit more than a Corporal, he’s an E5 (Sergeant).I gave her a jaded look and she continued with the laughter, “I’m going to make the old cook your aide.”I started to complain but Colonel Maggie held up her hand and said, “Jack, it’s going to be great! I want you to give this bastard so much shit he hates the day he was born. Hell, run his ass ragged all day and night.”I.
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